It’s a season of fixing.
The need to fix, of course, generally means something has been broken. I have a number of things that currently require fixing, such as drywall, tile, and a few clothing items to be mended.
Unfortunately, I also have a few intangible items that need fixing as well. Getting around to these repairs is more difficult to face and follow through on than, say, picking up a wall patch and some paint.
Nevertheless it’s time to get busy fixing. I’ve been pondering a few changes of my own lately and then a conversation last night with Oldest Son veered into a discussion (with a smattering of lecture thrown in) on Living Well. As we chatted, I realized I need to take my own advice and confront the areas where I am not living as well as I know I can.
On facing the necessary fixes, it’s a little daunting but also exciting imagining what the end result might look like. A new coat of paint in the entryway, a kinder/less judgmental view of others as my first, rather than learned, response. Both are extremely appealing and therefore I move forward with anticipation.
The thing about my brain though–a trait shared by Oldest Son–is that I don’t move forward without looking back. As I assess the fixing required, I also dwell a little on the damage done. Broken pieces of wall, tile, self. Mostly self.
Its not that I don’t trust that Jesus is enough to sweep away the mess, fill the cracks. I do. Most days anyway. But I’m always mournful of the time and resources wasted on the mistakes. I hate making mistakes. And, oh, not being right all the time. I hate that too.
This week, though, I’ve seen the beauty in surrendering, rather than reliving, the damage. God was gracious enough to teach me about kintsugi. I’m not an artist. Nor do I have an inclination to seek out things art-related so it truly is a merciful intervention this information was presented to me.
Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery or ceramics with lacquer mixed with gold, silver, or platinum. The repair method has been referred to as “embracing the damage.” Words that sweep my heart clean.
The damage was done, yes. But it has been repaired, also yes. And when repaired well, the new look is sometimes more interesting than the original.
While I’m still sorry there is repair work required within me, I can see the damage is not irreparable and is, in fact, transformed into beauty. Jesus again takes my breath away by making all things new.
And He who sits on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” And He said, “Write, for these words are faithful and true.” Revelation 21:5 NASB