I’ve been reading my way through Beth Moore’s The Beloved Disciple for a few weeks now. It’s a beautiful account of the life of John the Apostle and the books of the bible he is credited with writing. As always, Beth Moore has a gift for writing as though she is seeing through John’s eyes and hearing with his ears. And by embracing that perspective, I started to understand some of life’s puzzles in ways I hadn’t before.

I also began to understand, though, that I need to make changes. Immediate changes. I waste way too much time. I’m not talking about relaxing or refreshment, which are so important to physical, mental, and spiritual restoration. What I am talking about is the time I invest in mind-numbing activities (or really lack of activity) that take away the sting of the world and eat up some time but don’t really count for anything.

Social media comes to mind. I started using social media to follow the oldest child when she went to college. And I like knowing how the people I care about are doing and seeing photos of how they are spending their time. But lately many of the notifications aren’t at all about who people really are. And I’ve discovered I really don’t care what Disney character you were meant to be, if you are a sunflower or a poppy, or what color your aura (if you have one) is. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I’m just saying that I’m not going to check out every cartoon caricature you’ve created or click “like” if you’ve eaten enough fiber today. There’s too much in life that truly matters to get bogged down in the things that don’t.

As I continued to weigh and measure what needs to go and what is worth keeping in my own life, I received a phone call that a family I care about has suffered a tragic death. My heart is broken. And it is convicted. Broken for those who grieve a life cut short. Convicted that the spending of every second of life does matter. Forever. For eternity.