I love old, at least when it comes to jeans, architecture, and antiques. Many of my old (and persisting) habits, however, aren’t quite so lovable.
Eucharisteo (see September 27 post) is transforming my life. Giving thanks, counting gifts, keeping eyes open for miracles and hearts for blessings.
But being transformed doesn’t mean I am completely transformed. Especially when I find my old ways comfortable. For example, I’m funny. Sometimes I’m hysterically funny, but the best wit often comes at the expense of another. And while I don’t have a volatile temper, I sometimes “burst” about the tamest or most ridiculous of things, usually ending with some sort of scathing (or funny but hurtful) comment. While I know it’s wrong, it’s my comfort zone, and so I’ve hung out there pretty regularly.
It happened again today. Well actually, it didn’t just happen. I chose to react. Over something that needed no reaction whatsoever. This time, it not only didn’t feel right; it no longer felt comfortable. That’s a good thing. That means eucharisteo is working. And eurcharisteo works because it comes from our Creator who calls us to greater things than serving ourselves.
In Ephesians 4:22, Paul calls us to “put off our old self” and be made new.
I’ve read and re-read this verse without really soaking it in or at least not allowing myself to dwell on specifics that pertain to me. I can’t ignore it anymore. This is where the rubber meets the road for me. If I want to continue in believing in the ultimate goodness of God, giving thanks no matter the circumstances, counting the gifts within and around me, I have to be willing to make the changes for which only I am responsible.
So I’ll keep the jeans, continue to marvel at old buildings and happily go antiquing, but I’m going to put away the old habits, the old hurts, and the old scores that have not been settled. The load is lighter already…